Life Lately

Friday, April 24, 2015


I have been acting rather strange lately... It's really bad... 


I am never the kind who fancy junk food... I still remember the last time when I had to be in a room full of pizzas, I tried so hard not to cringe and I had to excuse myself out of the room ASAP. I do not think that I have any eating disorder but the idea of putting low quality food into my mouth, irks me. Low quality being heavily processed, low protein and unhealthy food. I am not a saint and I do not have a super lean and perfect body because most of the time I do not eat clean. It is hard to eat clean but I try to avoid junk as much as possible. If it is unhealthy food that I am going to eat, it better be really yummy like truffle fries. Calories are precious after all (not that I calculate them religiously).

My style of dressing has also changed to be really casual and less dressy than it was. I probably know why and I am fine with it. However, I feel a lil uncoordinated when I put on dressier clothes. Totally need some time to get my mojo back. The last 1-2 months felt like a dream and by dressing the way that I used to, it feels like I am waking up from the dream and I am back to who I was. Does anyone feel the same way as I do, like how style of dressing can affect your emotions?  I constantly feel the need to change for the better and I hope that I am on the right track. 

Just a few nights ago I was pleasantly surprised to receive compliments from a friend, which really cheered me up. Thank God for people like her who brightens up my world. :') The best part was that I never imagined her saying those things to me because I always thought that she was a bit stand-offish, oh wells she gotta be, otherwise boys would be flocking to her. You know who you are. HEHE!




What Shit Life Really Means

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Well, what the fuck am I talking about? How would I know what shit life means anyway?

 I think I just experienced the most mentally draining part of my life... I can't remember the last time I felt like this. Even though I was the one who created the mess, I didn't have it any better. 

 I realised that those who fucked up actually need as much or even more attention than the victims. Of course, given that the culprit is truly remorseful. With that mentioned, I have to be really careful with my following explanation. Remember that last time you fucked up? You were really sorry for what you did and the damage you had caused. We are our own worst critic. Being very human, the whole world would come down hard on you. How did you feel? 
Not that wrong doers should escape unscathed, but perhaps, we should remember that none of us haven't NOT done anyone wrong in our lifetime. The culprit is only human and he/she also needs someone to talk to. The culprit probably feels that he/she has no right to "complain" to anyone because he (fuck the he/she) was the one who fucked things up. What happens to a wound that is not well taken care of? An infection? An ugly scar? We want no such inhabitant in our minds(well, a few is fine). 

I've always believed that usual humans don't have the worst intentions for anything, we make mistakes because you know how life decides to give you shit and you get caught in that shit? Like how you never wanted things to turn out that way but it did because you followed the "follow your heart" crap.

And guess what, MIRACLES happen during shit times. How is making a million bucks when your dad gives you a billion, a miracle? Shit times are actually good times in disguise. In dim moments like these, you find out who your true friends are and who sticks with you through it. 

If you think you have lost everything, gather your ballz and get hustling cause you gotta build it all up again to show the world what you are made of. Everyone can say that you've made it because of luck but if you could build your shit up again, it's gonna shut them up. 

Now if life has been shit for you, go make some miracles because you can.

I hope you find comfort in nature's lushness like I do.

Photo credits: @zachxs 
Editing: @katepurk

My Quarter Life Crisis

Friday, April 3, 2015

So this week apart from procrastinating to go for the doctor's review( what a bad nut for disregarding my health), I am pretty bugged about something. Honestly, this has been something that I have been pretty frustrated with.

I kind of blame it on the sad world that I live in where(very possibly) social media affirmation is the superhero for dwindling young self esteems, perhaps old ones too. I used to have a really bad case of low self esteem and I won't say that I now have an invincible amount of self esteem. It is recently that I started to get more attention than I had, thanks to social media. The amount of likes I get, starts to gain power over me. I would worry every time before I post a photo, if it will get lesser likes than previous photos. Perhaps I should change my style, like those dazzling clean feeds. Maybe my lack of uniformity in my feed is not getting me enough likes. I hate to admit that my mind is weak enough to be a victim of social media affirmations. 

I was lost most of the time, torn between being myself or changing so that I could be better liked. 

And you know what?


I think my personality is fairly likeable and the photos I post should reflect who I really am. I can't go on pretending that I am some minimalistic chick when I enjoy different styles on different days.
I can't have clean uniform Instagram style because I believe that if I were to just stick to one style, you should be able to find me at the nearest mental hospital. 

I have to be true to myself and hiding who I really am won't make me more attractive. 

Enough of the ranting. I hope you find a lil bit of yourself in whatever you do. <33

Visuals from Ipoh, some are taken by @winnielim710 :)